Dear Drishti

I remember how you wrote in the research diary that researchers are heroes. If researchers are heroes working towards a far-sighted utopian society, then civil servants are the ones that lead the world there. I want to thank you for doing what you're doing. Your future contribution to the Indian society is very real and very much needed. For every 20 male IAS officers, there is only 1 female IAS officer. If you combine that with your unique perspectives and ideals, you're beginning to see that there has probably never before been an Indian civil servant bearing resemblance to your personality.

Society is infamous for beating eccentricity into mediocity. The odd ones out are picked on and are forced to bend to the conventions of the land. People with original thought are disincentivised to have them. And yet, here you are, struggling with all your might against this ideological homogenity, while also learning to navigate the currents of social life. This might sound a little ironic, since I've also advocated for learning from people around you, and not relying on intuitions too much. Perhaps some of that is needed, or perhaps this is just me speaking as yet another force of society trying to tame your free will. Not knowing any better, I'll leave it at something I expressed to you long ago: guiding or influencing your thought is a responsibility that I will always strive to live up to. I'm honored to be one of the few with such privileged access to the beautiful world of yours, and I'll make sure I don't let unworthy mortals soil it with their mediocre worldviews.

Good company is indeed one of the most sought-after luxuries of life. Kids who score high in JEE gain less from the lectures at IITs and more from their peer students. When companies recruit these engineering graduates at the end of four years, their filtering criteria include class grades but also the candidates' JEE ranks, an evidence of just how important a signal is the performance on JEE. Both JEE and UPSC are infamous for being excruciatingly hard, but while JEE admits almost a lac students, USPC limits its intake to a mere thousand. The ones who crack the latter have already demonstrated their grit, knowledge, perseverance, and the skill of blending and communicating ideas. On days when nothing else seems to motivate you, try to nevertheless remember this prestigeous luxury! I can't help look forward to you being part of this elite circle at LBSNAA. Indeed, such are the only folks I could imagine sharing you with!

The journey will not be easy though. Competitive exams are hard by definition. Some parts might seem ridiculous - why should I bother to memorize the different types of sedementary rocks to be qualified as an IR expert? The most I can do to relate is from my JEE prep, and I cringe at the mere thought of those days. I remember crying every other day for a little less than a year. I remember feeling like a loser after every mock test. I remember the desolation creeping in as I realized I'm never going to make it to the top 5 IITs. I remember playing Linkin Park songs on full volume when alone, so I could scream my heart out while singing along.

And even with all of these fond memories, my struggles amount to a tiny fraction of what you face. I attempted JEE when I was 18, as a kid who must only study all day, and with no burdens of the past to carry on my shoulders. I will, however, have the audacity to tell you that it will be worth it. All the crying and the pains and the countless hours of studies invested made me what I am today. That IIT tag remains the single largest reason behind me landing multiple research internships and finally a PhD acceptance. It has helped me get acquainted with extremely talented people like Amrinder and Bharat. They were unfortunate to not land in IIT Delhi or Bombay because of perhaps one tiny mistake in JEE. I, on the other hand, was fortunate to be in their company because my JEE exam day was devoid of any silly errors whatsoever!

It will be the same for you. When you attend those civil servants training, you'll earn a lot more than what life has so far kept from you. When you discuss issues of national importance with people in the capacity to affect those issues, you would have alleviated from the daily troubles that bother you now. Your not-so-well-wishers shall be silenced or ignored. Your family's fiscal troubles will meet an eventual, if not immediate, end. Your parents will be relieved with the newfound stability and learn to be happier. Your brother will learn from your example and, one day or another, acknowledge the trade-off between individualism and collectivism. Your boyfriend might feel a little more possessive and insecure but will also be extremely proud of you.

You're gold, Drishti. That won't change under rough circumstances. In the grand scheme of things, this will have been half-a-decade long struggle before you step into the phase where you contribute meaningfully to the world. This will be the episode of your life few people would know about, only learning about it when an interviewer asks you about your backstory. Great opportunities await you, Drishti. Great responsibilities await you. Do not let your service down. On behalf of India, thank you in advance :)

31 Oct, 2020